What I Learned From A Tree

My husband and I went for a walk with Marley, our lovely dog, in a place that we had been several times. However, we had gone when it was spring or early fall and the leaves were still thick on the trees. This time it was late November and we saw a whole new world.

This “park” is in a nice old neighborhood in Atlanta so we are walking behind other’s yards. We never knew how close were we to the houses when the leaves were thick, but now we saw how close we were and decided to go off of the trail. Now, its funny to think about that poem by Robert Frost, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference”. Well, that was what happened. We went off the path that was laid for us and came to an entire new world of other paths that we had never seen.

As we were traveling and exploring we came to a tunnel type path where the trees formed an arch across the path. It was beautiful. There were low laying green weeds which offered a nice contrast to the almost bare branches. Then we rounded a corner and there it was. The tree that I chose to do this writing about.

It was, or is, a huge tree. It literally looked like a dinosaur laying down. Like it was slain, maybe like a dragon or something. But its trunk looked like a huge muscle. And I was immediately sad. This beautiful tree was grounded. I have tears in my eyes remembering it laying there. It was like a gentle beast that was accidentally taken down. I just stopped and looked while Brandon and Marley ran on. I couldn’t believe they weren’t taken back by this tree just laying on its side. I just kept saying, “Brandon, look at this tree. Isn’t it amazing!”. But it didn’t grab him like it did me.

I believe there is still life force traveling through this tree. Though the roots are up and it no longer produces leaves, I could feel its Spirit. It was once a grand tree. One that all the others came to for guidance. It is a Grandfather. Like in the Native American tradition, the rocks and the dirt and the trees are all Grandfathers. They all have stories to tell and wisdom to share.

I tried to sense whether this was a female or a male tree. Funny that it seemed like both. There was definite outward male energy with the strong trunk and the muscular roots. But there was a softness to it as well. A gentle strength that didn’t need to be shown to anyone, but only something that a traveler might notice if they stopped and rested under its branches.

It was fallen on its side, but it represented so much balance to me. I was truly sad to see that its life, as I understood it, had come to an end. I just wondered why? Then I noticed that its roots were located too close to the bank of a stream. The sandy ground wasn’t strong enough to hold its massive trunk anymore and I got a sense that the water had apologized many times for its dharma.

The water was sorry for continually taking away the ground beneath this gentle giant. But the tree was smiling. A soft death-bed smile, with a wispy voice, telling the stream that it had carried lots of things in its water and that the tree chose this spot for some reason. It had enjoyed the sound of the water running by and the people fishing off the banks and the dogs chasing sticks into its waters and all the life-force the water provided for the tree – constant nourishment. So, the tree was grateful for the water. It asked the stream to not be sorry for its purpose in life. It was simply time for the tree to fall over and see the world from a different viewpoint. As the tree got older, it explained, it was harder and harder to maintain its balance. The wind was stronger than it had been in the tree’s early years and what it once could do – dance with the wind – it could no longer do and that was the cycle of life. The tree knew the day was coming and when it did fall over it was relieved to rest. Now it could be closer to its original Source – the earth. Now it could let the earth hold it in her arms and guide it on it’s next journey of decomposition and replenishment for the other potential life forces waiting to reach towards the sky. The tree was just following its plan.

As I looked at this beautiful fallen creature I realized the need for change in perspective throughout my life. There have certainly been times when all I was looking for was up and out of my reach. I couldn’t be bothered with the things that were ‘grounding’ and ‘nourishing’ me to grow to reach this unattainable object or desire. I was selfish and had tunnel vision. I could only see what I wanted. I wasn’t grateful. I didn’t take time to look around and enjoy my neighbors and nature and swim in the breath of mother earth.

Now as I was standing beside this wonderful tree, still dwarfed by its vastness, I was in awe of it’s respect for it’s life. In the process of it’s lifetime, it had enjoyed the water and danced with the wind and fostered new growth and I could sense it smiling the whole time. Drinking in life. Ever grateful for what it had and has in the present moment.

Most of it’s life it was probably pretty still, almost having to watch and breathe in it’s surroundings. And look at all it ‘accomplished’ = a full life. I wondered what I had missed so far in my journey because of my tunnel vision and selfishness. Because of my worry for the past and the future. I was ashamed.

You know a tree takes what nature gives it = gentle or harsh wind, light sprinkling rain or hard downpours, scorching sun, ice and snow – it takes it all. It has to. There isn’t a place to hide. And the tree knows that it is pointless to worry about what the weather will bring on a certain day. Because it will change in an instant. The tree is such a beautiful symbol of balance. Able to be grounded in the earth and then able to be flexible to the changes in nature.

I realized now why this tree was cherished and respected by it’s community.

I wanted to climb on the tree and get my picture made with it. Like it was a celebrity or something. When I went to get up on it I had trouble. It was so big even laying down. But it was like climbing into a huge lap. The lap of your Grandmother or father. I was scared I would hurt it if I stepped on some places or put too much weight on it. All I wanted to do with this tree was hug it and thank it for letting me connect.

I didn’t ask it anything right then. I knew there would be symbolism revealed in the writing of the experience. So now I will share what I got from my encounter with Grandfather/mother tree.

          I have learned that the reason I am so rigid in my body and my mind is because I am not grounded. If I was solid in something then my upper body could sway and dance with what life gives me. I am like a little kid that is afraid of being hurt or seen or picked up and they stiffen up in an attempt to be too heavy, like a rock, that cant be affected. I am stiffening myself up as a protection against the world. What am I really afraid of in this world? There will be wind and rain and sun and ice and I have those every day. It is not a new idea that things are always changing and I cannot control them. But my rigidity is a way of me trying to control the weather. Trying to protect myself from the potential of hail or ice or a hurricane. While I am busy being so rigid, my cells have no openings. I have no space to accept the beauty of my surroundings, the love of my community, the inconceivable love of my God, and Guides and Grandfathers and mothers. I have closed off the world because of fear.

          This is what Tree told me:

-He told me to lighten up.

-He told me to reach high but only to experience the reaching, not to grab hold of something.

-He told me to reach out and breathe in the beauty of the world.

-He told me to let your leaves drop sometimes and show your bones.

-He told me to love my body, my stature, my symbolic roots and branches and trunk.

-He told me to breathe in gratefulness for where I was planted.

-He told me to bend and sway and change my perspective before its changed for me permanently.

-He told me to notice the people and the animals that walk around me and make their homes near to me and those that stay far away. And love both of them, for their choices.

-He told me to find a source of nourishment and stick with it. And he told me to give back to my source of nourishment – don’t just take without respecting its resources.

-He told me not to try and grow my branches farther than my roots.

-He told me right now my roots are thin but they are growing farther so I need to strengthen my roots.

-He told me I am moving to fast for the roots to take hold and really take in the nourishment from Source. So I should stay still more often and let the roots settle.

-He told me its okay to sway and stumble while the roots are taking hold. It is normal.

-He told me to plant myself around wise trees with strong roots so that when my roots want to fall that I can use the strength of the others to help maintain my focus and balance.

-He said it was okay not to stand alone and struggle to get through the  weather.

-He told me he had been waiting for me to come by. That was one of the reasons he fell. He knew he would still be of service even if he couldn’t provide shade for someone.

-He told me I was beautiful. A young tree just learning the ropes. He said that reminded him of when he was younger and all of the life and questions and energy and passion in everything he did. He thanked me for allowing his story to be heard and for receiving it. He asked me to come back often to visit.

          You know I almost feel like he bent down for me to see. He changed his perspective so I could finally see all the things that have been floating around in my head. By no means do I believe it was all for me. I am not saying I am that important, but just the fact that he was there all along and yet we didn’t discover the path that led to him until I was ready. He waited for me. Just like my Spirit is waiting for me to turn the corner and discover all that I have to offer. My True Self is waiting for me to open the door a little further and take a step inside. All of these Guides patiently waiting for me. Yet I am tearing the place apart trying to find the ‘answers’. To what questions I wonder? I know that stillness offers me so much. And these Guides are still. Quiet and still. And I am clamoring around like a bull in a china shop and making a royal mess out of it all. But the key is to be still. Be quiet. And be open.

          Tree isn’t fixated on growing farther and taller. He is in the moment. His growth happens without witnesses. It just slowly happens. Just like Rainer Maria Rilke says, “…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…do not search for the answers that cannot be given to you now because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.”

          Tree taught me to live in the moment. We do not know when our roots will give way, but even when they do, it is simply a change in perspective and another phase of life begins.